Sunday, February 14, 2010

Strategizing...



Tonight, STL Bike Polo will be gathering in the War Room (aka: Lucky's living room) to discuss our successful future invasion and domination of Hardcourt Bike Polo.

Tactics and training regiments will be discussed, laid out, and implemented.

Prepare yourself. Some of the training methods that could potentially come out of this meeting are listed below:

1. Getting everyone's attention:


When Ozzy Osbourne signed his record deal with CBS, he attempted to get everyone's attention by releasing doves in the room. When no one cared, he took things up a notch...or ten notches. He pulled a dove out of his pocket and bit its head off. You best believe he had everyone's strict attention after that.

We've signed our fate with Bike Polo championships, and now we're going to make the Bike Polo world notice us...Possibly, by decapitating birds with our teeth.

I'm listening to Ozzy right now. You should be too.

2. Releasing stress through smashing:


Paul Simonon was having a bad night in 1979. His bass guitar was giving him problems, and instead of exiting stage left to grab his backup, he decided to teach his bass a lesson for daring to give him trouble. He wasn't done until the bass was nothing but splinters scattered around the stage.

Tonight, we will learn the best way to smash opponents foolish enough to give us problems on the court.

3. Never give up the fight:


In Greek mythology, Sisyphus was a king that was punished in Tartus by being cursed to roll a huge boulder up a hill, only to watch it roll back down, and repeat this throughout eternity.

Some would see this as punishment; I see this as perfect training. We should gladly push boulders up mountains repeatedly. Think about it: After an eternity of pushing a boulder up a mountain, how hard would it be to push opposing polo players against the boards in a strong, forceful manner? I don't know about you, but I'm going to go start pushing a boulder right now!

So remember:

Today, we meet in the War Room.

Tomorrow, we take over the world.

Everyday, we PARTY HARD!

72 comments:

Toph A. Loaf said...

i have nothing better to do at work. so here i am readin the blog. bloggin it up. flying high again...great post Ben.

Lee said...

I'm out for the strategy session tonight. Lets play some week night polo at the first opportunity.

Toph A. Loaf said...

looks like snow again on monday. tuesday is looking good. wednsday looks even better.

Unknown said...

Well,it was short notice, so I shouldn't too disappointed. I still like pizza and beer and Trent, Ben, Chovy, and Toph. We'll see what we can glean from T's sporty past. I'll try not to ask too many dumb questions.

Still have no idea what "drawing a pick" really means.

P.S. I am totally cutting out bike shapes on two colors of paper that we can move around a court diagram.

Anonymous said...

Small polo bike:

http://stlouis.craigslist.org/bik/1600696111.html

Unknown said...

Can someone let me know where Lucky's house is and when I should be there. Although I am not the greatest of athletes, I've coached a lot of lacrosse including on the international level, and some basketball.
euthug[at]gmail[dot]com

Unknown said...

Sent.

Ben said...

Meeting at 7 sound good?

Unknown said...

I heard 6:30. I'm already getting hungry.

Ben said...

Oh. I'm eating dinner right now. 6:30 is fine. I may be a tad late.

Toph A. Loaf said...

lucky, please e-mail me yer adress. that way i can have it for record and we can exchange e-mails too. sound like fun?
crpc6f@umsl.edu

Unknown said...

Done. Come on you guys, I'm counting on you all buying me pizza and bringing me beer. Quit eating healthy meals at home.

Ben said...

I'll bring you beer and leave almost all of it there.

nick said...

how was it?

STAG said...

hey. I did that too.

Toph A. Loaf said...

-Nick
it was fun. we ate pizza, drank beer and desinged polo plays with cardboard and pennies for the ball. if we do it again. you should be there. didnt you play soccer. like hardcore as a kid\teenager? we could use some more imput like that.

Coach said...

I expect two St. Louis teams on the podium in Lexington.

Seriously.

nick said...

I played pretty serious soccer for about 12 years as a kid. I know a thing or two about these games.

If we can plan it more than 6 hours in advance I can usually shift things around if I need to.

This week might be a good week for some strategizing or sledding if anyone is up.

Hey Coach! said...

hey coach. SHRED! stl bike polo will dominate. the days of otherdudes winning stuff will come to a swift end! and remember...
BIGRADCIRCLES.

Coach said...

Embracing fear on the sledding hill WHILE creating game winning strategies is right up our alley.

Unknown said...

Sleeding tonight, then? Where/when?

Ben said...

Sledding!

I'm down.

nick said...

The historic STL Bike polo sledding site is Reservoir Park, however I feel there are much better places to sled in the city.

Check this list for an interactive map. http://tinyurl.com/yegqll2

Ben said...

If a big group of us is seriously going sledding, I'll be there.

Otherwise, I'd like to go to Ramp Riders and scare myself.

Unknown said...

I will sled here, there, or anywhere. I will also have to borrow a sled.

Down for hanging out at RR for a while, too. Do they rent short, wide, old-school skateboards?

Kikkelo Lover... said...

Boo to changing the back ground...

What happened to a kikkelo club?

Ben said...

I tried to embrace fear at Ramp Riders...I wound up embracing the cement floor with my shoulder and head.

It didn't kill me, so I must be stronger.

STL BIKE POLO said...

the blog is in a design transition. its kind of a mess right now. i hope to have it cleaned up soon.

Ben said...

I like the changes thus far...except the deletion of "Kikkelo"...Kikkelo is our claim to fame after "North American Champions" and "Andrew WK's most loyal fans."

Anonymous said...

polo tomorrow at Maplewood? -Patrick

Ben said...

I doubt any of our rinks are clear and dry. But it doesn't matter anyway...I'm out due to a wrecked shoulder.

Lee said...

Jeez Ben,
You really are a BMXer now! It sucks sometimes doesn't it? Gravity is a worthy fucking adversary.
-Lee

Ben said...

Yeah. I dropped in between the two pockets, didn't commit enough and lean/carve with the bike, and got thrown over the top of my bike onto my shoulder and then onto my head. Currently, I'm looking at a grade 1 or a grade 2 AC Sprain. Nothing is broken, but it definitely hurts like hell.

I may be visiting an orthopedic surgeon later this week for an MRI. Hopefully, it's nothing a little physical therapy can't correct quickly (please, no surgery).

It sucks being less than 100%, but that's the price we have to be willing to pay on the road to being champions.

Embracing fear isn't easy. If it were, it wouldn't be so cool and so special.

Toph A. Loaf said...

well, we are now missing two thirds of King Shin Beef 666. but we need to try out some new plays. i will help clear off a rink tommorow and practice a little before polo. however i dont think maplewood is out best bet but well see.

Unknown said...

I would say with the cold, even with clearing the rink off, Maplewood would be the worst option in terms of slickness. I vote Lindenwood, although it may be the hardest to clear off (if that needs to happen).

Anonymous said...

There is a reason we use maplewood on Wednesdays. It has outlets for lights. Lindenwood will be a better surface however you are s.o.l. after dark. As it only has two lights that kinda suck.
Hey Ben... The expression your looking for is OTB! (over the bars!). I'm mighty damn proud of you and you adventurous training.
Today I found a huge pile of metal shavings at work that already has my knuckle blood...
Frames are being gussetted...
Wheels are being laced...
And ankles rehabilitated...
-king-

Ben said...

I was thrown high side because I was leaning awkwardly to avoid going OTB. Either way, it sucks being unable to move my left arm more than 15 degrees from my body.

Toph A. Loaf said...

i could be at the rink around 5:30. i will also scope out Mt. Pleasnat(doubtful) and wilmoore. i rode by lindenwood on the way to school yesterday. still pretty bad but that was before the sun really got a chance to come out.
im gonna go out there again in a few minutes and see how bad it is. cross your fingers, i am getting antsy for polo.

Anonymous said...

i think Maplewood is the only option at night. yes its slick, but it can't be worse than when we played ice polo at Willmore. I'll bring some extra winter ear covers that can be worn with a helmet. Anchovy, in addition to my sunglasses, I think I also left a black ear bandana thing in your milk crate.
-Patrick

Toph A. Loaf said...

okay. for the second week in a row, lindenwood has failed to me the standards of STL bike polo. Maplewood. 5:00-5:30 clean up. Six o clock polo. Anchovy send out that text. show up early. play later. cuddle harder.
-P.S. Lee there are some pretty sweet shots of you killing it at Midwest @hardcourt bike polo.com.

Anonymous said...

i'll try to be at Maplewood by 5PM or a bit later to help clean up. i'll bring brooms and a shovel. I will also bring an extra polo bike.

someone please bring an extra mallet for me. thanks.
-Patrick

anchovy said...

Im Out. Looks like Bens out. Jake is out. No lights that i know of. I think its time to skip tonight at Maplewood.

Toph A. Loaf said...

crap. no lights no polo. i could have sworn someone other than Ben had lights. i have one light. Nick had some i thought and Evan had some too. i guess not. see ya sunday.

anchovy said...

Toph, those guys may have lights (like Evan, i think Nick maybe also). Im out for tonight so im not gonna text/call everybody to organize it.
If you have lights and wanna play tonight post here.

Unknown said...

No dice tonight... sorry dudes.

nick said...

I have lots o'lights, but I am out.

colin said...

i am up for playing but i have no lights.

Anonymous said...

Hey newbies. Go play polo. I have 1 work light but no chords, call if u wana borrow it. Don't be discouraged. Get out there and mix it up. I'd play if I could.
Someone (toph) needs to send out the word. Get the ball rolling. Others will follow.
Just because a few of us are unable or unwilling to play tonight should NOT stop YOU.
-king-

colin said...

i have no way of contacting anyone but on the blog if people want to play i will go up there and clean off the rink. and will brorrow lights to play

Toph A. Loaf said...

i will be down at maplewood. whoever shows up shows up. come on down if you wanna play polo.
i have been working on getting people to play or come out and help clear off rinks all day. if you want to play some polo, lights or no lights. be at maplewood around six. later.

colin said...

i will be there

Toph A. Loaf said...

if anyone wants to play call me. 314-807-3028. we have lights now, so unless you have broken foot, shoulder, bike whatever, you should be there. it will be fun as usuall. even without Jake, Ben, Anchovy, Nick, Eugene, and someone else who said they werent coming.

Unknown said...

Not me. Weather this weekend doesn't look promising either.

Toph A. Loaf said...

well. Patrick and i played polo for about an hour, then i stayed and played pick up the mallet. and beat myself at footdown. if the weekend looks shitty, well thats just shitty.
FYI, Maplewood is clear. And i have Nicks lights, i have not looked at the weather for tommorow but other than the two people injured, if anyone wants to play tommorow night minus Ben and Jake. I will be there. i may have recuited someone else to fill the void, for now he needs a bike. it wont be long before he has another one. and he has actually played with us before. some of you veterans may remember him as nobrakes.

toph will be there said...

partly cloudy and 35 degrees for thursday. maplewood. six o clock. be there. nuff said.

Anonymous said...

i have class on thursday evening, otherwise i would show up. -Patrick

colin said...

sorry i was going to be there but my truck got a flat i will be there on thursday though

hellochris said...

can i just say something?
i've been letting the polo w.k. soak in, and polo is so joyous now. and i play well when i'm having fun.

last night in como we:
1.pumped our fists
2.bent metal (destroy crank arm)
3.bent metal back (build crank arm!)
4.made sweet passes
5.scored sweet goals

all i'm saying is: if you guys are gonna try to dominate bike polo then columbia is going to try to dominate even harder! I-70 Final @ North American's, that's all i'm saying.

Ben said...

I-70 final at NA? It's on!!

Sucks for you; Andrew W.K. is on our side.

Tim A said...

Sucks for you, CoMO has a regular spot to play all year round regardless of weather! W.K. = Weenie Kore!

Lee said...

Chris,
There is nobody I'd rather beat in the finals.
-Lee

Anonymous said...

There is no fighting in the war room!

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