Polo is NOT a Crime!!!

STL Bike Polo Suggestion/Help Box

Here are a few questions and comments I pulled out of the STL Bike Polo suggestion/help box.

"Jake got blood on me. I'm not sure if it was my blood or his blood or blood from someone else. Is there a way to keep this from happening?" - Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

We've all experienced this phenomenon. Don't fret. There's no way to keep Jake from bleeding on you or making you bleed. Wear those bloodstains with honor. Take pride in the fact that the amount of blood staining your clothes and epidermis is equally proportional to how hard you were poloing on that given day.

Personally, I try to look like Carrie (sans the prom dress) by the end of a successful day of polo.



"Anchovy keeps slamming into me on every inch of the rink. What can I do to prevent this?" - Bruised in Ballwin

Dear Bruised,
The only real way to avoid the bumps and bruises that Anchovy dishes out is to be on his team. Other than that, there's really no way to escape the pain. Anchovy's school of hard knocks is always in session when you're on the opposing team.



"How do you stop the Knobbe Laser?" - Frustrated, Injured Goalie

Dear Goalie,
I do my best to provide an answer to every question and comment I receive. When I don't know the answer to a question, I do all of the research I can until I feel that I can provide you with an informed answer. But the question you just asked has no answer. In fact, I would encourage you to stop trying to block the Knobbe Laser altogether. Your efforts are only going to result in broken bones and shattered orbital sockets.



"You should let your bulldogs out less. It's unsettling to hear people barking at the neighborhood roller hockey rink." - Frustrated Neighbor

Dear Neighbor,
That suggestion is noted. Unfortunately, it will be immediately ignored. You are not officially playing polo until you have released your bulldog. Polo without bulldogs is like a bike without wheels. Normally, there are no stupid questions or suggestions...Unless your suggestion is for us to cage our bulldogs.



Until next time, keep sending in your questions, suggestions, and comments. And remember: keep having fun out there...keep pushing yourself to be the best you can be...keep partying hard.

Anatomy of a Party

Parties officially start with a crisp can of STACK. Enjoy it out of a cup or the can.



Then stop at the nearest Waffle House and order the following:
- Pecan Waffles
- Hashbrowns
*smothered
*covered
*chunked
*diced
*peppered
*capped
*topped
*country
- Grilled Cheese
- Diet Coke



Consume.



Walk across the parking lot and puke behind the gas station.



And that is how you party on a Sunday afternoon in Middle of Nowhere, Kentucky.

STL WINS THE PARTY CONTEST!


ps. Colin and Toph are both forever banned from the FJ Cruiser for making a mess. Sunflower seeds and Trail Mix.

Never Forget.

The cuddled know only one thing: it is better to not be cuddled.

The Challenge Has Been Issued...

Pete from COMO said his team was going to Lexington to win it all...Again.

1.) I have a pizza and a case of beer for any team with a STL player that beats Pete's team during the tournament (Saturday and/or Sunday).

2.) I also have a case of beer for any team with a STL player that places better than Pete's team.

Seriously.

You have just over a week to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

MAKE IT HAPPEN!

ps. COMO men and women can buy their own pizza.

New post, geez.

89 comments. You guys are animals.

We are all the teachers. We are all the students.

Excuse me while I momentarily assume a teacher/leader role:

18 days and counting...



There are several important things I need from all of you. These are things YOU need to do in the coming days; doing them will make your life and everyone else's life much easier. Before YOU do these important things, I want YOU to assume nothing about anyone else and expect nothing from anyone other than yourself. This post applies to you as an individual but no one individually. These are steps that you need to take.

Below are several questions. You need to ask yourself these questions and answer them honestly (rhetorical answers). The answers should be black and white. If your answers are gray, you're not taking the test right.

The test begins...now:

1.) Are you going to the Spring Invitational in Lexington, Kentucky on the weekend of April 3-4, 2010? - What I mean is: Are you literally going? The appropriate answer to this question is NOT: "Well, I want to go." This question requires a simple "Yes" or "No" answer. If you are not sure about this answer, figure it out quick. Teams are organizing right now, and dithering helps no on and hurts your chances to play with the people you want to play with.

2.) Do you know with whom you are playing at the Spring Invitational in Lexington, Kentucky? - What I mean is: Have you talked to people within (or outside of) STL Bike Polo about organizing a team and playing together in this tournament? Read that last sentence again (Seriously. I'll wait.). If you have not talked to anyone about organizing a team, you should start doing that now (not in the comments section). Do not assume you are on a team or that someone is making a team for you. Take responsibility for yourself and talk to the people with which you want to be on a team.

3.) Are you ready to let your bulldog out during the Spring Invitational in Lexington, Kentucky? - What I mean is: Are you ready to let your bulldog out during the Spring Invitational in Lexington, Kentucky? Tournament play is a weird thing. Professional athletes are always talking about replicating "game speed" at practice. It is nearly impossible. We "practice" every Sunday and Wednesday. But come tournament time, you will be playing at levels you rarely reach at our normal weekly pickup games. The heat of tournament play leaves you a couple of options: A) Let your bulldog out and rise to the occasion -OR- B) Cage your bulldog and release your timid turtle. I encourage you to do option "A." And I encourage you to practice embracing option "A" as much as possible over the next 18 days.

4.) Are you ready to have fun playing polo on a team of your STL brothers (or sister) and have fun...win or lose? - What I mean is: Yes this is a tournament, but do NOT get caught up in the fact that wins and losses actually matter. Do NOT take everything too seriously. Do NOT allow yourself to not have fun. At the end of the day on Sunday, you will have won some great games and lost some real heart breakers. Just remember: Polo is a game. We are all having fun. The instant you are not having fun, I insist that you pull yourself aside and remind yourself why you are in Lexington, Kentucky. (Hint: It's to have fun.)

5.) Are you ready to have the time of your life at the Spring Invitational in Lexington, Kentucky on the weekend of April 3-4, 2010? - What I mean is: Are you ready to storm into Lexington, Kentucky, hang out with our hosts -one of the coolest polo clubs in the world-, show everyone how hard St. Louis parties, and have an amazing weekend that you will remember for years to come? The answer to this question should be the same as your answer to question #1.


Are you ready? GET READY! Endless fun awaits us.